Tue, 26 April 2016
In this episode of the Aspiecast Podcast, I describe an aspect of my social interaction that I didn't consider until someone told me, which is that I can go from zero to 100 percent social familiarity immediately, when it comes to talking to someone I've not met before.
This feedback came after a social interaction I had in which I was trying to out-do a couple different people while having a drink (or three) at a nearby bar. One of the participants in these interactions mentioned to me afterward about this zero to 100 percent mode I operate with, and I realized that this very accurately describes how I approach social situaitons: Either I stay away because I don't know what to say, avoiding social interaction entirely in order to not feel helpless from having nothing to say, OR I launch into full-familiarity mode as if I already knew the other party in the conversation for a long time.
From thinking about the interactions that I describe in this episode, I realize that I wish I had a way to comfortably interact in what I call a social grey area, somewhere in between zero and 100 percent familiarity with another person. If I could do this, I'm guessing that lots of people would have not been taken aback throughout my life by me launching into a more familiar interaction than they were prepared for when meeting me for the first time. That more familiar approach, as if I were already a trusted long time friend, is probably causing some boundary crossings that other folks have not been prepared for when talking with me.
Thanks again for listening!