Thu, 14 September 2017
In this episode I mention how I had received an email saying it could be great if I could provide solutions to some of the problems I encounter or have identified in these podcast episodes. I also mention how I wasnt aware that a recurring theme on these episodes is my shame, and I have been thinking more about how I'm letting shame really get to me these days.
The idea about providing solutions struck me nicely, because my entire career has been about solving problems and finding solutions to very complex situations. I've continually amazed myself at the types of bizarre problems I've been able to solve within communications networks, so I enjoyed thinking about how I could offer some sort of advice that might help to guide an aspie toward a solution of some sort, given some particular ASD-related problem such as interacting with people in a certain scenario.
However, I believe that the solutions to such things are only available with preplanning. Choosing a great blue collar work environment is my best recommendation if preplanning is possible.
However, if current solutions are needed to deal with a certain behavior, and when there isn't an authority figure present to offer corrective advice, there is a huge, painful roadblock in place: The aspie doesnt know there is a problem, and the people on the other side of any interaction with the aspie almost never will have the guts to say anything, for fear of being impolite, or hurting the aspie's feelings, or because the nature of the relationship isnt intense enough to warrant getting into such intimate details as telling an aspie something crucial about his/her voice, as an example.
Feel free to email thoughts anytime: firstname.lastname@example.org
Tue, 26 April 2016
In this episode of the Aspiecast Podcast, I describe an aspect of my social interaction that I didn't consider until someone told me, which is that I can go from zero to 100 percent social familiarity immediately, when it comes to talking to someone I've not met before.
This feedback came after a social interaction I had in which I was trying to out-do a couple different people while having a drink (or three) at a nearby bar. One of the participants in these interactions mentioned to me afterward about this zero to 100 percent mode I operate with, and I realized that this very accurately describes how I approach social situaitons: Either I stay away because I don't know what to say, avoiding social interaction entirely in order to not feel helpless from having nothing to say, OR I launch into full-familiarity mode as if I already knew the other party in the conversation for a long time.
From thinking about the interactions that I describe in this episode, I realize that I wish I had a way to comfortably interact in what I call a social grey area, somewhere in between zero and 100 percent familiarity with another person. If I could do this, I'm guessing that lots of people would have not been taken aback throughout my life by me launching into a more familiar interaction than they were prepared for when meeting me for the first time. That more familiar approach, as if I were already a trusted long time friend, is probably causing some boundary crossings that other folks have not been prepared for when talking with me.
Thanks again for listening!
Tue, 1 April 2014
Perseveration is perhaps one of the biggest downsides to Aspergers. It can affect the ability to thrive in life, both by alienating friends and by putting brakes on certain workplace interactions that play a role in career progress. Unfortunately, on the Aspie's side of an interacton it can be hard to detect perseveration is occurring, and the result can be an unforseen burst of anger from the other party in a conversation. As a result social interaction can become even more worriesome and energy-draining going forward, because of the need to steel oneself for the potential of unexpected negativity or anger on the other side without an easily understandable cause.